about

ABOUT US

Global Tetrahedron was born of the shadows, and it is committed to control in all its forms. 

• Committed to the conquest of mortality since its foundation in 1634. 

• Providing strategic counsel for top human-trafficking enterprises, large-scale embezzlement services, and covert assassination requests. 

• We are pragmatic, focused, bloodthirsty, and fanatical. 

VALUES

• Unrelenting: Our strong talons will rip the flesh from our victims’ bones in order to feed it to our freshly hatched young.

• Temptation: The flesh, it glistens.

• Forced Sterilization: Global Tetrahedron has worked tirelessly to ensure that none of our competitors or any other undesirable groups may extend their defective bloodlines.

• Quantum Domination: We believe in a future where time and dimension bend to the whims of our board.

• Porcupine Breeding: Our innovation extends beyond ideas that have a clear path to monetization.

• Computer: We all use computer.

GLOBAL TETRAHEDRON

By The Numbers

• 14 billion: NDAs signed

• 60 billion: Hours of labor exploited

• 300,000: Guns donated to underprivileged communities

• 10: Inches of rock-hard cock

• 49,000 And Counting: Puppies milled

• 1,107 And Counting: Elementary schools shuttered

• 98: Weight limit for female employees (in pounds)

• Numbers: Numbers

• 6: Floors of our offices considered CIA black sites